Monday, August 07, 2006

6 Irritating Things In Films

  1. Inappropriate behavior when chased by psycho/monster. We've been over this before. Personally I never tire of seeing stupid young people die in creative ways. There are too many instances to list, but here's a few pointers to the screenwriters of the inevitable 'Wolf Creek 2': A) OK, you're traumatized, but only a complete tit would leave a high-powered rifle next to an unconscious psycho. Even if it's not loaded you can smash his skull in with it, or just hide it. B) You are lost in the outback, but at least you have a big truck. Then, quite rationally, you push it off a cliff, and C) you spend half an hour watching frickin home movies.
  2. 'Let's split up.' This is essentially the same as above, but is particularly annoying. Even frickin gazelles know it's safer to stick together, so what do you do when hunted by psycho/monster? Wander off pointlessly in different directions thus making it much easier to be picked off one by one. Memo to the entire cast of Alien 3: You are idiots, and deserved to die.
  3. War films. Never talk to your buddies about your girl/wife/kids/dog back home, let alone show them a picture. You will die in the next scene.
  4. Spooky kids. Is it just me, or are you sick of cute wide-eyed children who wander around films seeing things that adults can't, like dead people, strange lights in the forest, or aliens in the cornfield. Shouldn't they be in school, anyway? Any form of Alien Abduction thingy will inevitably involve one of these little sods. Also, M. Night Shayamaian: you are guilty!
  5. 'Try and get some sleep.' Or 'Try and get some rest'. Usually said by alpha male to girl in time of extreme stress, when her adrenalin levels are going batshit. Patronizing bastard.
  6. Err... that's it. But I'm sure I will think of more.

2 comments:

Molly Bloom said...

Spot on Dudester. I particularly like Number 2 and the looking at photos. Actually, scrub that, they are all spot on. I think 'I'm just going to take down that barricade to have a look behind it when there are 50 million zombies outside,' should get a mention here. And the 'The alien is in there...so shall we go in there with it?' is also good. How about shutting the door and running?

Somebody is laughing like a maniac at me...but I'm going to go off with him,right? He seems like a safe bet. (Usually said by a woman...because they have no intuition...do they?) We trust everyone, we do...

Dominic Zero said...

For god's sake - turn the fucking lights on is one that always gets me.