Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The End of an Earache

Sad news this week. It seems that the Intrepid Fox, possibly the longest running alternative/rawk pub in London, is set to close. On September 11, which has a certain tragic irony about it. I've been going in there off and on since the early eighties when it was very punk and much rougher. These days I frequent it less, since it was featured in some Euro Rough Guide to London, and is now filled with dreadlocked Spanish children who think it's cool to skin up at the back, and moronic Scandinavian hair-metallers. But it still feels like a bit of history going, and is sad. Another piece of the seedy old Soho erased and turned into more fuckin yuppie flats. The closing party is on Sept 9, and should be some event.
And while we're on the subject, the're trying to do exactly the same thing to the Astoria, the bastards. Sign the petition to save it here: http://www.petitiononline.com/savethea/petition.html

Thursday, August 24, 2006

10 Top Psychos

Dirty Harry. Andrew Robinson shows us how it's done as Scorpio.
Exorcist 3. Brad Dourif is the Gemini killer. Now it only occurred to me when I saw these 2 pics together: Curly blond hair, nasal strips and zodiac tags - do you think Blatty was attempting an homage here?
The Hitcher. Rutger Hauer.
Battle Royale. 'The one who signed up for fun.' Surely J-rock's answer to Sid Vicious
Ghosts of Mars. Low on extras, and short on cash, John Carpenter visits the local Black Metal club and hires the first person he sees. "Don't worry," says Carp, "All you have to do do is shout 'GRRRAH...WAAARGHHH!!!!!' and wave a severed head around." Which is pretty much what he had planned anyway.
Ichi the Killer. Tadanobu AsanoBrotherhood of the Wolf. Vincent Cassel. Just an ace baddie. Expert shot and martial arts skills, check. Control over huge mutant dog-thing, check. Hideously deformed arm/claw, check. Incestuous relationship with sister, check. Oh I want to be him.
M. Peter Lorre
Cohen and Tate. Adam Baldwin goes over the top, and stays there.
A History of Violence. Ed Harris.

At long last blogger has allowed me to upload pictures, and seeing as everyone else is doing these quizzes I thought I'd give it a go. Here are 10 special sociopaths, not my top ten (Dennis in Blue Velvet would be a bit too easy), just ten I'm fond of. Some of the actors names I don't know myself, and since I can't be fucked to research it, just the film will do in those cases. Name that loon!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Bloggered Around

Well I've been trying to do a post, but I can't upload any images at the moment. It crashes my web browser every time I try. Anybody else having problems? Guess I'll try later.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Warthog Enclosure

I was cycling along the Regent's Canal today and stopped for a fag, as I often do, on a bench that faces the warthog enclosure in London Zoo. There is a boy warthog and a girl warthog. He was feeling randy, or bored. It's a pretty boring enclosure. So they headbutt each other for a bit, which for a warthog I have noticed seems to be the only form of social interaction, but then their heads do take up most of their mass, so they can't have much choice. He headbutts her into some kind of ritual submission, then tries to mount her. She ain't interested, walks off. He tries to mount her again so she sideswipes him with her tusks. Girl warthogs have tusks as big as boys. He gets the message and pretends he wasn't interested in the first place.

Now where have I seen that before?

Well, that's my day.

Monday, August 07, 2006

6 Irritating Things In Films

  1. Inappropriate behavior when chased by psycho/monster. We've been over this before. Personally I never tire of seeing stupid young people die in creative ways. There are too many instances to list, but here's a few pointers to the screenwriters of the inevitable 'Wolf Creek 2': A) OK, you're traumatized, but only a complete tit would leave a high-powered rifle next to an unconscious psycho. Even if it's not loaded you can smash his skull in with it, or just hide it. B) You are lost in the outback, but at least you have a big truck. Then, quite rationally, you push it off a cliff, and C) you spend half an hour watching frickin home movies.
  2. 'Let's split up.' This is essentially the same as above, but is particularly annoying. Even frickin gazelles know it's safer to stick together, so what do you do when hunted by psycho/monster? Wander off pointlessly in different directions thus making it much easier to be picked off one by one. Memo to the entire cast of Alien 3: You are idiots, and deserved to die.
  3. War films. Never talk to your buddies about your girl/wife/kids/dog back home, let alone show them a picture. You will die in the next scene.
  4. Spooky kids. Is it just me, or are you sick of cute wide-eyed children who wander around films seeing things that adults can't, like dead people, strange lights in the forest, or aliens in the cornfield. Shouldn't they be in school, anyway? Any form of Alien Abduction thingy will inevitably involve one of these little sods. Also, M. Night Shayamaian: you are guilty!
  5. 'Try and get some sleep.' Or 'Try and get some rest'. Usually said by alpha male to girl in time of extreme stress, when her adrenalin levels are going batshit. Patronizing bastard.
  6. Err... that's it. But I'm sure I will think of more.